Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2009 Resolutions...

1. Kick my Rockstar Roasted habit. Or at least cut down to 2 cans per day.
2. Find a way to mate with new Bose headphones.
3. Stop letting this Blog replace my journal and other writing.
4. Settle the Evolution\Intelligent Design debate once and for all.

I Surely Will Be Deaf by 2010. If You've Got Anything to Say to Me, You'd Better Spit it Out

With it being break, I haven't had a lot of time alone with my headphones just yet. All I can say is that I do believe this is the way the music is heard in the recording studio. You can hear each single instrument and when you turn it up full blast, there is no distortion, they don't even vibrate.
Some songs immediately came to mind when thinking of what I would like to hear at this level of quality. Here are the first few I listened to.....
Seek and Destroy by Metallica
Mississippi by Train
If You Have to Ask by RHCP
I'm the Man by Joe Jackson

Sunday, December 28, 2008

We have five different Holiday occasions with different parts of the family. They all went off without a hitch except for the flu going around! Poor MJ got the worst of it, she wouldn't even sit on Santa's lap. She lost 9lbs in five days! She had her first wrestling tournament of the season this weekend, so she was really missing that 9 lbs. Hope everybody had a great Holiday!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Jesus Loves You....

.....Some Restrictions May Apply

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snowy Day Fun



Small, meaningless animals to be used as sacrifice to the God of Influenza.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Lyrical Madness

I have noticed on a couple of award shows that this Lynyrd Skynyrd thing that Kid Rock has done seems to be very popular. I am not going to go in to the long and drawn out opinion that I have of Kid Rock or Lynyrd Skynyrd. I am a very firm believer in listening to any and all types of music and far be it from me to criticise anything that someone might choose to listen to. (I hope that I managed to infer that I despise both Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd without offending anyone that may have been bred from two cousins.) I gave it a listen, maybe to try and understand the appeal. A particular line struck me. There hasn't been a more stupid line written in a song since "She's got it going on like Donkey Kong"(paraphrasing there, have no idea how the actual line is written). "We didn't have no Internet, but man I never will forget the way the moonlight shined across her hair". WTF does the Internet have to do with a girls hair? Break away from the herd, people. I'm begging you.
Honorable mention: I do like the song Lonely Road of Faith. Don't know why. It definitely isn't the lyrics, as faith has been a very elusive creature in my life.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

And this is in the night: - Most glorious night!
Thou wert not sent for slumber! let me be
A sharer in thy fierce and far delight, -
A portion of the tempest and of thee!
How the lit lake shines, a phosphoric sea,
And the big rain comes dancing to the earth!
And now again 'tis black, - and now, the glee
Of the loud hills shakes with its mountain-mirth,
As if they did rejoice o'er a young earthquake's birth.
-Lord Byron-

Friday, December 19, 2008

I Guess I Better Get Used to This

Most of My Good Fortunes are Due to the Kindness of Others

Extra special thanks to Lloyd, who linked our computers together and let me molest his music files for the past two days. The result was over 1200 new songs in my itunes and an amusing trip down memory lane. Just what I needed to get my holidays started, what a gift!
Through this, I remembered how much I loved Camper Van Beethoven when I was 18 & 19 years old. Here are my two favorites. Enjoy!
Thank you, Lloyd. Happy Holidays. Big Hug.



Thursday, December 18, 2008


I robbed this little treasure out of an article by Anthony Bourdain on Kris's blog.
I couldn't have said it better myself.

"I’ve slowly built over the years not a collection of favorite tunes, but a soundtrack to a film in which I am alternately hero, villain or victim—depending on circumstances."
-Anthony Bourdain-

Oh, the places your mind goes when your insomnia has taken you inches from a psychotic break

I'm sure in some countries, Teenager Meat is considered a delicacy.
My favorite Dirty Joke:
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because his *i*k was stuck in the chicken.
Give-a, give-a, give-a Garmin.
I haven't used my Spanish-English dictionary in months.
On January 21st, I bet George could get a job shining shoes in Iraq.
I wonder if that old lady ever found the beef....?
Occupation Pondering #352: Jeffrey Dean Morgan's tshirt.
Please don't listen to any of this dribble. Anyone stupid enough to live in this dreadfully cold place is not worth the oxygen it takes to fuel them everyday. Hey, I kinda got a jab in on Sarah there, too.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Daily Tune

Bright Eyes - At The Bottom Of Everything
"While my mother waters plants, My father loads his gun....
We must blend into the choir and sing ecstatic with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul"

Friday, December 12, 2008

The full moon tonight will be the biggest one of the year as Earth's natural satellite reaches its closest point to our planet.The moon's average distance from us is about 238,855 miles (384,400 km). Tonight it will be just 221,560 miles (356,567 km) away. It will be 14 percent bigger in our sky and 30 percent brighter than some other full moons during the year, according to NASA.

Holiday Song Of The Day

I Am An ENFP Personality

Brett had to do this at school and I thought it was pretty interesting. I couldn't really find anything that I strongly disagreed with in my assessment. Brett and I have the same personality type!
Go to this link and take the test, it looks long but just takes a couple minutes:
Then go to this link and read about you personality.
Be sure you read the whole thing, they are pretty accurate.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

My Uncle Can Beat Up Your Uncle

Thanksgiving 1986. Mom with her brother, Joe. Isn't he handsome? He is really the only person on either side of our family that Chad looks like. I believe this is the last time that I physically saw him. I hear he is kinda mean now. Besides yelling at the neighborhood kids to get the hell out of his yard, rumor has it that he kills desert animals at night with his bare hands for meat to put in his super hot chili.

The Mis-Adventures of Camero Hair and Bow Girl

Sorry about whatever that spot is on the picture, that tends to happen to 21 year old pictures. I'm sure everyone will be too distracted by those fabulous Madonna gloves to notice!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I have blue lights around the porch at the lake. If I put 40 layers of clothes on, look up away from the snow, through my blue icicle lights.... Nope. I'm still here and it is still cold. You would think that my white-hot hatred for winter would keep me warm.

6th Grade Holiday Concert

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

My cinnamon coffee made me especially happy this morning.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Ode To Tiff's Datsun

"The interior smells real bad cuz my friend puked in the back"
Uh, that would be me. Sorry, Tiff. I tried to roll the window down. Damn safety windows!

New To Me

The Evens aren't by any means a new thing but I (embarrassingly) didn't know about them until my recent Fugazi flashback. The Evens seems to be what Ian MacKaye has been doing with his time since the hiatus of Fugazi.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Those Were The Days

If I could write a letter to my teen self, it would definitely include the line "Go to more Fugazi shows."

Gonzo Friday Night

Watch: 'Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson'

My favorite Gonzo quote:
From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas -
"Hallucinations are bad enough. But after a while you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle that sort of thing.
But nobody can handle that other trip - the possibility that any freak with a $1.98 can walk into the Circus Circus and suddenly appear in the sky over downtown Las Vegas twelve times the size of God, howling anything that comes into his mind. No, this is not a town for psychedelic drugs. Reality itself is much too twisted."

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #10:
If you ask Sam Phillips at Sun Records, he'll tell you that he discovered me. But if you ask me, I discovered Sam Phillips and Sun Records. It's all a matter of perspective, man.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Just So You Know...

'There's a prediction from a leading color source that cheerful and sunny yellow will be the influential color of 2009.
Pantone, which provides color standards to design industries, specifically cites "mimosa," a vibrant shade of yellow illustrated by the flowers of some mimosa trees as well as the brunch-favorite cocktail, as its top shade of the new year.'
I still don't think you should eat the yellow snow.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Homework Fail

Thanks to Lloyd for turning me on to this blog - http://www.failblog.org/ - It makes my day on a regular basis!!

Were We That Stupid?

Brett's new debit account is overdrawn. He had it for one weekend. I remember bouncing a check or two but I didn't do it in the first 48 hours that I had the account. I transferred just enough funds to cover the overdraft and took the card. We'll try again when he is 18.

Monday, December 1, 2008

New Tunes

Snow Patrol - Lifeboats
I am not the biggest Snow Patrol fan on this planet but I LOVE this song. I love the music and the lyrics. I like this little video that a guy did for it, too.
'There's no truth at all poking out the child eyes of ancient gods.'

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

A Few Psychotic Apples Spoil The Bunch

I have no shopping incidents to report this year. Past experiences have included people walking up and just taking things out of my cart, that has happened several times actually, and one time I was standing in an aisle waiting for people to move so I could get through and a lady just started hitting my cart with hers. I guess she thought that would make everyone move faster if we knew there was a ticking time bomb in our midst. I get hit in the Achilles by the front of shopping carts every year. There are always the assholes that pull up right when the doors open, get out of the car and just walk right up to the door when there are 500 people that have been standing in line, some of them for hours. If the obscenities being hurled at them by the crowd are any indication, I'm sure it's these people that create the incidents that lead to injuries. Black Friday is not for the meek.

Everyone that shops on Black Friday is not crazy. I, for example, have 10 kids to buy Christmas presents for and unless I want to get them a nice stocking full of fruit, I have to try to get things at a good price. Example: I bought Jack a Crayola Glow Station, they are normally $30, I got it for $15 yesterday. I got $40 throw blankets that the older girls all want for $8. I got Magee a $70 pair of boots for $20.

Money, yes, it is the new religion. And the moguls of the Money Monarchy have become the priests and popes of this irrational age of corporate planetary domination and destruction. Yes, world bankers and trans-national corporate executives are the true religious leaders. Why? Because the highest, most esteemed calling is high finance. Whole nations are caught up in it. It has become the wishful will of the world and money, the worshipped god. The Wall Street Journal is the Bible, the bank is the cathedral and the people are the parish — and they will perish. They will perish because this religion of money seduces people into schemes and dreams of riches and doing in anyone who might get in the way.
- Wulf Zendik-

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #9:
One good way to tell the difference between dusk and dawn is to spill something, then wait to see if the day maid or the night maid comes to clean it up.

LB's Post Shower Crazy Hair - Ain't He Cute!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Party Like It's 1989

Most of you will remember the single 'So Alive' from this album but 'Bound For Hell' was my favorite track.


Monday, November 24, 2008

Kris's Word 'O The Day

1. Sudden impairment of neurological function, especially that resulting from a cerebral hemorrhage; a stroke.
2. A sudden effusion of blood into an organ or tissue.
3. A fit of extreme anger; rage

New Noise

The Cure - The Perfect Boy

Props to Kris's New Music this week.
The Gaslight Anthem

Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Spirit is Coming Back... Slowly But Shirley

I have been eyeballing these beautiful blue cashmere stockings for two years and finally got them at 75% off after the holidays last year. I managed to motivate myself enough to get the names and icicles on them. (You bitches better not start with the Martha Stewart crap again!) Oh, and I almost broke my nose getting my tree stuff out of the attic. Happy -friggin- Holidays!

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #8:
Advice and medication should be taken the same way - very carefully, with the option to throw it up if it starts to make you sick.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Holiday Wish List

  1. World Peace
  2. Magee's eyeballs to be glued in place to prevent 'rolling'
  3. Every orphan a home
  4. New Years somewhere cool
  5. Pet population under control
  6. A Jim Morrison\Elvis Presley sandwich
  7. Safe wet lands and rain forests
  8. Men to piss 'IN' the toilet
  9. The polar ice caps to stop melting
  10. To snorkel around the Blue Hole in Belize

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Where Has All My Enthusiasm Gone?

This time every year I am doing my pre-hoiday cleaning, getting all of the xmas stuff out of the attic, putting up my tree, going through my gift list, getting my cards ready, etc. I have done none of it!! Not one thing. I am going to force myself to get the gift closet cleaned out and see if I can get some help with the tree later when everyone gets home. Maybe if I start messing with the gifts and see my beautiful tree I will start feeling the spirit....

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Morbid, I Know

Occasionally, something sparks my thirst for knowledge and I develop an insatiable need to possess the 'facts'. Tony likes to refer to these episodes as 'Information Binges'.
My most recent binge is the Killing Fields in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia. Weakened by the United States' illegal bombing of the Ho Chi Minh Trail during the Vietnam War, the people of Cambodia fell victim to a genocide that rivalled the Holocaust (Yes, it happened). The brutal campaign by Pol Pot's Khmer Rogue to rid Cambodia of any and all western influence resulted in the death of nearly 20% of the population.

Read: The Lost Executioner: A Journey to the Heart of the Killing Fields by Nic Dunlop
Watch: The Killing Fields and S21: The Khmer Rogue Killing Machine

Oh, and have a Bright Sun-Shiny Day!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Anniversary Vacation Just 10 Miles From Home

We are going to spend the night at one of the area luxury Hotel, Spa & Casinos here in the KC area. We are going to take the free luxurious room and severely disappoint them with the amount that we gamble! Be back Tuesday.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #7:
If you're itchin' like a man on a fuzzy tree and your friends say you're acting wild as a bug, you might very well be in love. Either that, or you took one too many of those green pills.

Small World

I met a girl the other night whose name is Sondra. We engaged in a conversation about the fact that our name is very uncommon. She proceeded to tell me that the only other 'Sondra', same spelling, she ever knew was in Kindergarten. Seems she went to Blackburn Elementary with a girl named Sondra Freeman. Uh, that would be me.

Things Ashley Will Need When She Moves Out In 3 Weeks!

1. Utility Deposit Money
2. Dresser
3. Cleaning Supplies
4. Hangers
5. Hair Straightener
6. TV
7. Ironing Board
8. Laundry Supplies

Monday, November 10, 2008

'The Strangers' Gets An 8 on the -OH SHIT!- Meter

Magee and I just watched this movie and it scared the living shit out of us!! It's been a long time since I have literally jumped and gasped. We made Tony come in the living room because we were afraid! And this is from the biggest horror movie fans on the block....

New Music

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Henry Pics '08

This will be the last you will hear of Henry for a while. Thank you for enduring my obsession. Seeing Henry is to me kinda like Christmas is to a kid. I spend the whole year waiting and then it is always over too quickly.

For Kris - Henry Talking About Van Halen Last Night

Friday, November 7, 2008

Thursday, November 6, 2008

More Henry

This is my favorite picture of Henry that I have taken. I took it in Columbia at The Blue Note in '05 and he signed it the next year at Liberty Hall in Lawrence in '06. We didn't see him last year. More good ones tomorrow!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Seeing Henry Again Friday...I Love Him So

I will be subjecting you to these over the next couple of days, maybe you will come to love him as I do. (Warning: He is not for the faint of heart.)


My kids were so involved in this election process. I am very sad to admit that I voted for the first time in 2000, even though I was old enough in '92 and '96. I just never felt engaged by politics or felt that they effected me in any way, which I'm sure is very normal for young people. I literally thought that it had absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever. Brett won't be 18 until July and he was just sick yesterday that he couldn't vote. MJ has had Obama tattoos on her hands for three days.
I am very proud of my generation right now. We have truly taught our children that differences are to be celebrated and that fear is bred from ignorance. Yes, the minorities in this country came out in record numbers yesterday but it was Young, White People that elected this President. I am so very proud of that.

We can be Heroes, just for one day.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Air Has Been Mixed And Freshened

I am so proud to have been a part of this.


MJ, Tony and I just stood in line for 2 hours and exercised our right to vote. Tony took the day off, so now we are going to lay around and watch T.V. all day. Whatever the outcome, I hope Americans will become less polarized. You can vote how you like and still have my respect as long as you vote for the right reasons. Lies and propaganda are your enemy.
"One day our generation is gonna rule the population."

Monday, November 3, 2008

Bumper Sticker Blues

I just realized that I have had my "The Emperor Has No Brains" sticker on my car for about 6 years. I have peeled it off of 2 cars to move it to my current one. Removing it for the last time in January will be bitter-sweet.....

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #6:
It's pivot, thrust, point, kick, turn, gyrate, karate chop. Not thrust, point, kick, turn, gyrate, karate chop, pivot! If you're gonna impersonate me, do it right, man!

New Music Monday

Keane - Spiralling

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #5:
In a pinch, a 22-caliber pistol makes an excellent TV remote control. But you can only use it once.

New Music - TV On The Radio

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #4:
No use cryin' over spilt milk. Unless you just ate four peanut butter sandwiches and a whole fried chicken. Then I can't think of a better reason to cry.

Erin Lee Presley

What should I be for Halloween?

Friday, October 24, 2008

No Zoo Is Complete Without Reptiles

This is Bowie. He is a six month old Ball Python.
Tony and Magee will not rest until they
have driven me completely crazy.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #3:
Remember: Only one portrait of yourself per room or people will think you're conceited.

Memory Lane

Live - Mental Jewelry
I loved this album and would still fit it into my top 25. It just came out at a very impressionable time in our lives and they are all the same age as we are. (Most of them were too young to be in the bars they were playing in.) There were a lot of political artists at the time but these guys managed to go mainstream with a political album, which had been considered 'old hat' since the 70's.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #2:
Speak Clearly! I once had this karate teacher tell me I needed to meditate. Is it me, or does 'meditate' sound a lot like 'medicate'?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Health Advice From Lewis Black

"I have concluded that there are.. general rules of health that actually pertain to everyone. The first is that the good die young but pricks live forever. John F. Kennedy and Strom Thurmond immediately come to mind, but feel free to insert your own family members in there. Anyway, in order to ensure your longevity, follow this simple plan: Pick out a kid who lives nearby, and every time you see him on the street, run outside and scream, 'Get out of here, you little shit!' Trust me on this. It's better than taking vitamins."

Life Lessons From Elvis

Lesson #1:
You gotta count your blessings. For example, I'm thankful people call me 'Elvis the Pelvis'. My name could have been Rick.

Ray Lamontagne Show Tonight

How Come
This is my fave. Couldn't find a very good video, not one of his most popular songs.
"...love can be a liar and justice can be a thief. And freedom can be an empty cup from which everybody want to drink..."

Monday, October 20, 2008

It Was New in 1993...

I haven't had time with my illness to really look for anything 'new' and 'worthy' so I'll take you back to 1993 instead. This is Counting Crows - Round Here. I used to listen to this in my headphones... over and over. Probably one of the first songs that Canyon heard through headphones on my belly.
"...she parks her car outside of my house and takes her clothes off. Says she's close to understanding Jesus. She knows she's more than just a little misunderstood. She has trouble acting normal when she's nervous..."


Duck and Cover - "A burn from a Nuclear Explosion is worse than a very bad sunburn."

I remember doing bomb drills when I was in grade school. How ridiculous was that? Those little desks wouldn't even save you from the local bully much less a nuclear attack! Luckily, those stupid drills, along with these stupid films, stopped when I was probably in about 3rd grade.


Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Show Must Go On...

We drove down to the lake Friday night and I was very much hoping to be feeling well enough to keep my Saturday Celebration City promise to 4 of my best buddies in the world. I was feeling so bad Friday night that I forgot my camera AND my iPod, two things I rarely leave home without.
Saturday Morning Vital Statistics:
Temp: 102.1
Tissue Usage: 12\hour
Total Ear Infections: 2
Nerves Remaining: 1
Total Doe-Eyed Sweeties smiling at me: 4

I tell my mother in law that I will require her to drive but that I will attempt the trip. Worse case scenario, I end up asleep in the parking lot! As it turned out, I couldn't have slept if I had tried. In order to deliver on my promise, I ingested 800 mgs of Ibuprofen, 1-12 hr Sudafed, Antibiotic, 16 oz. of Electrolyte infused water and a double dose of that shit that killed Elvis.* I then repeated this ingestion again 6 hours later, minus the Electrolyte water. I could have lifted the car off of several perilous loved ones in a single bound. I could have, but luckily all I had to do was keep up with the kids for 12 hours. It turned out really well for them. Jack commented that I was funny when I was sick... Just Say No, Jack. Just Say No. Things didn't turn out so well for me this morning when I woke up. I no longer felt like I could lift a car, rather that I had been hit by one.

*This statement is based strictly on mainstream societal belief and in no way reflects my personal opinion about the death of Elvis.