Friday, January 16, 2009

MORE Health Advice From Lewis Black

"Hey, Lew, your smallpox vaccine has worn off. You want another?"
Um, let me think. Yeah, you're fucking right I want another because, until now, my whole life has been a delusion. Every day I would wake up and say, "It's gonna suck today, but at least I won't get smallpox."
Here's how long it took the government to tell us about this concern. Imagine going to a public bathroom only to flush the toilet and have the toilet water hit you in the face. Then, as you walk out of the bathroom, you see a big sign on the back of the door that reads WARNING: TOILET WATER MAY HIT YOU IN THE FACE. But that's how things work in this country. We get our government-issued goggles only after diluted piss stings our eyes.


Venti Iced No Water Americano said...

You crack me up

flo said...

You know me. That statement makes me warm and fuzzy. At your service, my dear.
BTW: LOVE the tiara!