The "8 Signs You're a Terrible Guest" article is back on my news feed. This time under the guise of a new title - "Bad Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid". It annoyed me the first time, now it is just pissing me off. Have they run out of stories about the 'Octimom'? Come on. I have plucked a new gem from the list of behaviors to avoid, last time it was #8 - Suggesting that you bring a little bit of stationary or bath salts for your Host, this time I have chosen #3 as an example of the shear stupidity of this article.
"Go heavy on the sauce? Nobody likes an out of control, fumbling guest at their party who accidentally knocks down half the buffet table or passes out on the sofa during group conversation. So, as the saying goes, "drink responsibly," especially when you're at someone else's home."
If this is a requirement for the guests you invite to your 'soiree', then draw a big black line through my name. Chances are I would have to be at least half crocked to go to some get together with buffet tables and group conversations on the 'sofa'. I prefer to stay at my house where you can wander in to the kitchen whenever you feel hungry and grab some chips I dumped in a bowl to dip in the Sassy Salsa that I didn't even bother to take out of the plastic container. You can sit on my 'couch' and have a conversation if you like but if someone passes out while you are talking, maybe you should consider the fact that what you were saying was not all that interesting in the first place. By the way, if you plan on passing out at my house, please leave a list of things you would like drawn on your face and the funny poses you would like to be in while we photograph you. The pics will be on this blog before you regain consciousness.